Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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