i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Even my vagina gasped.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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