Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
