dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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