so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
