Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
