Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
