new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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