it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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