But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
