I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
