So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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