It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
