we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
