Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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