I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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