We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
