Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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