Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
