then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
