Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
