sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
