DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
