All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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