I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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