I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
