Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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