I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
