just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
