Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
