goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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