How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
