this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
