I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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