If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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