You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
