I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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