Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
