How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
