so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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