I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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