Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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