She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
