i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
