Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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