Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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