They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
