Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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