"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
