There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
